The Good Old Days...

So I went for coffee with one of my friends from high school tonight, and it got me thinking. Why didn't I stay in touch with people from high school? Mostly I'm ok with that, we went our separate ways, but there are a few that I really wish I would have kept in touch with. Is it too late? It was great to reconnect with this person, and I really hope that this isn't the last time.

And then, I started talking to one of the best friends I made while in college. And I realized that I really miss him, and many others. I don't like this. I don't like living away from everyone, not seeing them. Catching up on AIM and over e-mail, with the occasional phone call. I want the old days back, I want movie nights, dinner, meijer, piano bars, powell's pub, thirsty Thursday. I want all of it. I want to call friends and have them over that night, in our pajamas, popcorn. I'm sad that it's gone. I'm sad that everything has changed. Real life took over, and I don't like it. Yes, I'm whining. I want my friends. While I like my parents, and my gym, and love my boyfriend, I want my friends back. I want us all to live within 3 miles of each other. I want to wake up every day and know, today I will bump into at least 3 people that aren't blood relatives that I know I trust, and can count on. They were my anchors, and now I feel like I'm floating.

And yet, something in me says, get over it. It's gone, it will never be the same. Is this true? Or, just it take more effort to keep it up now that we're not geographically close? For some of us, yes a few phone calls and some plans and we'll be together. For others, I'm afraid the answer is no. Things just won't be the same, no matter the effort. And this makes me the saddest of all. We, this extraordinary group of people that I 'grew up' with, will probably never be the same. Things between some of us have gotten awkward, others have just grown apart.

All right, enough for now. Maybe I should make my first new year's resolution ever. This year I will try to be a better friend, not taking people and our time together for granted. Or will the resolution part doom the whole thing? I know that I don't want my friends from EMU to go the way of the ones from high school. We were way too close for that. I guess I'll hope for the best and go for it, and hope my first resolution ever works out for me.

P.S. The strangest thought just occurred to me. I don't have this sadness about my drum corps friends from other states. Is this because it was the terms of our friendship to be together every day, and then the phone calls, e-mails and occasional visits would have to do while we waited to have our time in the summer again? Did all of the speeches about cherishing every day with the corps cause you never knew when it would end really sink in? Maybe, but I guess time will have to tell.